A Dangerous Game
by Larsonek
Summary: A mysterious stranger forced himself into the Discworld, and he is on a mission. There are only three groups of people that stands in his way: Carrot and Angua, the Faculty, and Marvin Threefoot.
1. Setting up the board

A dangerous game

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the following characters in the following story, as the rightful author owns them. Any writer can use any other character created by me that appears in this story.

Chapter 1: Setting up the board

Marvin Threefoot, newly appointed Librarian's assistant, was walking down the hallway to the Library late one night. He was carrying a large pile of books, there spines all twisted and broken.

"This is not what I want to do for the rest of my life", he muttered to himself sulkily.

The thing about Marvin is that he is not a very tall man. Neither is he attractive, nor does he show any potential as a wizard. He has one good thing going for him. He can talk to the books.

"Why must my brother get all the glory? Lucrisius this, Lucrisius that. What makes him so wonderful?"

Lucrisius Threefoot was the most talented wizard the Unseen University had seen in the past three centuries. Lucrisius became a full wizard in just one year. He can comprehend the most technical aspects to magic by just looking at it. The man is so to say a genius. He is currently working directly under Ponder Stibbons.

"Oh blooming hell! Why is this door closed? Oi! Open up!" Marvin shouted as he kicked on the old wooden doors of the Library.

From the other side a leathery scraping could be heard, and the door opened up. Standing inside the door was the Librarian. He held a hand to his mouth as he gave a wide yawn.

Marvin peered around the pile of books he carried at the Librarian, "You were sleeping, weren't you? You make me walk all the way to the Lecturer of Recent Runes office to get these blasted books, just so that you could take a nap. That's fair for you"

"Ook ook, ooook" the Librarian replied sleepily.

"Just resting your eyes? What do you think I am, some kind of river algae? Listen, you can't just order me around like you own me!"

"Eek ook"

"Librarian Assistant or not, that was just plain bad sports!"

"Ook ook, ook ooook eek" the Librarian said comically. The books rustled on there chains.

"Oh hardy har har, very funny. Now while your awake, help me fix these books. They have been complaining about back pain since I picked them up"

* * *

Arch Chancellor Ridcully was stainding behind his desk. He had his sleeves rolled up, a Howandaland throwing axe in each hand, and he was blindfolded. On the other side of the room was the Bursar. To be more precise, he was pinned to the door by five Howandaland throwing axes. On top of his head sat an orange.

"Bursar! Did that one hit. Can't see a thing through this blindfold! Just the way I like it!"

"Mothballs and Jellybeans makes a good ear paste!" the Bursar said crazily.

"Bursar! If you move about, I won't hit the orange! Now hold still!" Ridcully ordered as he hefted another throwing axe.

Ridcully threw the axe with ferocious might at the Bursar. The angle was perfect, the speed was right. It was going to hit the orange at last. The door burst open and Ponder Stibbons stormed in. The door hit the wall with some force.

"Oof! Jangley jumbles and a spot of Mr. Weasel!"

"Arch Chancellor! We have a major crisis! HEX is AAAAH!" He screamed as the axe took his hat off.

Ridcully pulled off his blindfold and peered at Ponder, "What is it Stibbons? Can't you see I'm working!?" he bellowed.

Ponder shakily got to his feet and patted his head nervously, "Good, all there"

"You're wasting my time Stibbons!"

"S- Sorry sir!" Ponder stammered, but then remembered why he came in the first place.

"Sir! Something terrible has happened in the world! HEX is going absolutely crazy! It won't stop writing magical phenomena equations for the calculation of the paranormal space time derivative…"

"Stibbons! Get to the point!" Ridcully bellowed.

"Um. HEX's hamsters have stopped traditional folk dancing and have started to bang their heads and stamping their feet, almost as if they were listening to Death Music with Rocks in"

Ridcully looked quite puzzled for a moment, "HEX has dancing hamsters?"

"Why, yes sir! Six of them, they appeared about a week ago and…"

"Fascinating, I'm sure, but what the blazes is this "something terrible?""

"As far as I could make out, something with enormous power actually figured out the final integration factor to Helmutt's equation for dimensional traveling and…"

"Stibbons"

"Something ripped a hole in reality, entered through it and closed it"

"Something? Like one of Dibbler's sausages come to life"

Ponder thought about the possibility of this ever happening. He determined that it was quite possible and shuddred.

"I am afraid not sir, this is something far worse according to HEX"

"Where is it now?" Ridcully asked as he put on his cloak and hat

"Somewhere in Ankh-Morpork sir. Hex is trying to locate it"

Ridcully picked up his staff and marched out the door, "Gather the rest of the Faculty and meet me in the High Energy Magic Building. And bring the Bursar, he's behind the door"

"Y- Yes sir"

"Auntie Spoon! Whobley tea and a whoopsie!"

* * *

Corporal Nobbs and Sergeant Colon were standing on the Brass Bridge. Nobby was having a smoke, and Sgt. Colon was eating a pastry. The fog that flowed out of the river was thick, and became steadily thicker. The half moon gave off just enough light to illuminate most figures. Nobby took a deep pull on his cigarette, and blew out a steady stream of smoke.

"You know something Sarge, I don't understand women at all"

"Don't worry Nobby, most men don't" Sgt. Colon said, spraying pastry.

"Really?"

"Most of the time Nobby, take it from a married man"

"Well, one thing I don't understand is why won't women go out with a dis-teen-gu-ished gentleman like myself? I mean, I know how to dance, I know the finer arts of entertainment and I had a drink of sherry with most of the big nobs"

Sgt. Colon grimaced as he heard this. Everything Nobby said was true to a certain degree.

"Some off the girls I asked out said that they were busy, others said that they already had boyfriends, but most of them told me to jump into the Ankh. I can't do that! It's hard enough just trying to not walk on it most of the time. You know Floria from the herb shop, the one with the big ears? She says that people would look differently at me if I could just cure my skin disease. Now I ask you Sarge, do I have a skin disease?" Nobby asked as he looked at his arms and hands.

Nobby didn't really have a disease, but the state of his skin could be viewed as a disease itself, and Sgt. Colon knew this. Sgt. Colon finished the pastry he was eating and tightened his belt.

"Out of personal hex-pe-rience Nobby, I can say that Klatchian coffee will cure and clean anything it is applied to"

"How do you know this Sarge?"

"I caught something nasty when we were in Klatch and the missus didn't like what she saw in bed… I mean, how do you think young Carrot keeps his breastplate and sword so clean?"

"Cor Sarge! I never thought about that!"

"That's right Nobby, old Sarge knows best"

The mist parted to reveal a figure walking towards them. Somehow the moon's rays seemed to focus on him. The faint sound of creaking leather filled the air. It slowly came closer. The figure wore black leather boots. Boots of superior craftsmanship, made from the purest and finest leather. They were so superbly made that light and dust never seemed to settle on them, always deflecting or gliding off. The man wore Prussian blue pants, which was buckled by a leather belt with a silver belt buckle. He wore a white, silk, button shirt with a midnight blue tie beneath a Prussian blue waistcoat. Draped across his broad shoulders was a huge, black coat, hanging to the floor. He had black, leather gloves on. In one hand he held a golden pocket watch, and with the other he put on his Prussian blue, bowler hat. Nobby and Sgt. Colon watched him approach.

"Good evening…" the man began, but paused to look them over before continuing, "…officers"

"Good evening sir" Nobby and Sgt. Colon greeted simultaneously before the man walked on, his ponytail streaming out behind him.

"Rich fop" Nobby said when he was sure that the man was out of sight.

Sgt. Colon finally let out a breath of relief, "That, was not a fop Nobby"

"Of course it was Sarge, who else can afford such clothes in Ankh-Morpork?"

"First of all Nobby, he was wearing gloves. Secondly, he had a strange accent"

"Lots of people have strange accents in Ankh-Morpork Sarge, and what does wearing gloves have to do being a fop or not"

"Don't you ever listen when Cheery gives her fo-ren-zigz report Nobby?"

"No"

"Well, if you had listened, you would know that there are only two types of people that where gloves"

"What? Like butchers and Golden Harry's men?"

"No Nobby. Well, they do. But I'm talking in our line of work"

"Oh"

"Well, the one person is an assassin"

"He wasn't wearing enough black to make him assassin"

"That's right Nobby, so the only other person that wears gloves, is a thief"


	2. The Opening part 1

Chapter 2: The Opening part 1

"Bloody Recent Runes, what did he do with these books?" Marvin asked angrily.

The Librarian had a banana in one hand, a glue brush in the other and a book in one foot, "Ook ook".

"They come back like this every few months? That's insane!"

"Oook ook ooook" the Librarian replied as he brushed the back of "Runik Magik of Tymes Gon Past" with glue.

"Reads them you say? Hah! More like abusing and torturing them"

The rustle of paper and the clinking of chains filled the air. Marvin cocked his head to one side as he listened to the books.

"Oi, they say a man a girl is here. Who can that be at this hour?"

"Ook eek ook ook"

"Captain Carrot and Sergeant Angua came in while I was out. Well, it has been a while since they came here. Carrot probably found something about ancient Dwarf bread again and wants to show Angua how interesting it is. She doesn't look like the type of person that would want to read about bread. Wonder why she is following him?"

"Ook ook oooooook oook" the Librarian said with an evil smile.

Marvin whole face turned bright red as he blushed, "I- I am not jealous! What gives you even the faintest idea that I am jealous?"

The Librarian gave him one of his broad smiles.

Martin pulled his hat over his ears and quickly busied himself with the book at hand, "Oh sod off! Concentrate on your work and leave me be!"

The books rustled merrily on their chains.

The gates of the Unseen University closed slowly as the man walked in. The magic in the air crackled about him as he walked towards the main hall. He studied the fine trees, flowers and bushes that covered the grounds as far as he could see as he walked along. He noticed the strange humming building off to the far right and stopped to study it for a minute. From time to time magic would be released from the building, and strange lights filled the night sky around the huge copper dome. Suddenly a side door of the main hall burst open and a group of very old, grossly overweight wizards huffed and puffed their way over to the humming building. Following them was a scrawny wizard with glasses who carried a much older, much more rigid wizard overhead.

"Boogle boppie top! Custard is fun!" the old wizard chimed happily.

"Not now Bursar. The Arch Chancellor is waiting for us" the younger said as they entered the building.

They didn't notice the solitary figure standing in the middle of walkway.

The man laughed to himself, then pulled his bowler hat tighter down about his head.

"Where to begin, where to begin?" he asked himself as he looked at the University.

A dwarf pushing a wheelbarrow came around the far side of the humming building. The wheelbarrow was filled with purple glowing mushrooms. The man saw the dwarf approaching and hailed "Master Dwarf! Can I borrow some of your time?"

The dwarf looked at the man, and steered the wheelbarrow in his direction. He stopped a short distance away and wiped the sweat of his forehead.

"G'evening lad, and what can old Modo do fer ye?"

The man looked at the wheelbarrow filled with mushrooms, "What are these for?"

"Oh! This is just somethin' fer the boys in the HEMB, they say they're doinf experiments with it. Don't see what good ye can get out o' these lot, makes a crummy fertilizer and tastes jus' horrible it does"

"The HEMB?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Aye, the High Energy Magic Building" Modo stopped and looked at the man quizzically, "You aint from these parts now are ye lad? Are ye here to see the Arch Chancellor perhaps?"

"No, actually I'm here looking for a special book"

"Oh, a book you say. Well, see that wing over there, that's the Library, you can find all the special books you ever want in there lad" Modo said as he pointed to a clutch of towers.

He turned to look at the man, but he was gone. Modo scratched his head, "Peculiar folk these magical types" and he continued with his work.

The Faculty stood wheezing and whining in front of HEX. Sweat dripped to the floor, and if it weren't for their staffs, some of them would also be on the floor by now.

HEX was working overtime. It emitted strange lights, the hamsters were banging their heads, the ants were a black blur, and the Cheddar cheese was now a mature Gruyere.

"What is going on Ridcully? What is so urgent that we had to skip our sixth course of pudding?" the Dean asked angrily. There came a chorus of yeses from those who had enough breath to speak.

Ridcully sat by the quill and was reading what it was writing. Next to him on the floor was Lucrisius, foam dripping from his mouth.

"STIBBONS! What the blazes is all this!" Ridcully roared as held up a piece of parchment.

Ponder rocked from side to side, standing next to Ridcully when he screams is not a good idea. Ponder gained his bearings and took the parchment out of Ridcully's hands and studied it for a while.

"Sir, this seems to be map coordinates. This is most probably the whereabouts of this something that came through the portal"

Most of the faculty had regained their breath.

"Arch Chancellor, would you be kind enough to enlighten us what is going on?" the Senior Wrangler asked.

Ridcully turned around and looked at the faculty, "According to young Stibbons here, something ripped a hole in reality and came through to Ankh Morpork, and it is worse than one of Dibbler's sausages coming to life"

The faculty stared blankly at Ridcully for a moment, and then his words hit them.

The Lecturer in Indefinite Studies went deathly pale, "You- You're lying! Nothing can be worse than that!"

"According to HEX it is sir" Ponder said

"I say, are those hamsters? And what are they doing?" the Dean asked as he looked at HEX.

Mad Drongo appeared out of thin air in the middle of the Faculty.

"They're like, cool hamsters man! They like, dance and stuff, and now, they are like, banging their heads man. Rock on little buddies!" Mad Drongo shouted at the hamsters.

"AAAAAAGH! THE MOP SPOKE!" The Bursar screamed and then he fainted.

Mad Drongo's eyes were shingin a strange purple colour and pieces of mushroom has started to grow out of his hair.

"Stibbons! What the blazes is wrong with this fellow?" Ridcully asked.

Ponder looked nervously around, "Um, they are experimenting with various, things, sir"

"Experimenting, like, opened the magical hemisphere to me. It's like, making the world a better place and stuff"

"Get this buffoon out of my sight!" Ridcully roared.

Ponder took Mad Drongo off to one corner. There he stared at his hands for the rest of time.

All of a sudden Ramtop bagpipes went of screaming, flashing lights strobe the room, the hamsters banged their heads with new vigor and the FTB went super fluffy. Ponder rushed over to where the quil was scribbling at an obscene speed and started reading the parchment as HEX wrote.

"It did another dimensional travel sir!"

"What? It left already?" the Dean shouted over the noice.

"No sir, I'm afraid not"

"Where is it now Stibbons?" Ridcully asked.

Ponder scanned the parchment for a couple of seconds, "HEX located it sir! It is somewhere in the University Library"

"In the Library? What is it doing there?" Recent Runes asked.

Ponder picked up the latest piece of parchment, read it and went pale.

"Well Stibbons, out with it!" Ridcully ordered.

"I- it- it wants to st- steal something. Some- Something, from the Library Vault"

AN: Phew. I finally got a chance to work on my story. University has started and everything is in chaos. Will put up the second part as soon as possible. Any suggestions, hints and tips will be greatly appreciated. Bad stuff, well, bad stuff can be helpful from time to time.


	3. The Opening part 2

**Chapter 3: The Opening part 2**

Marvin walked deeper into the library with a tea tray. The cups jingled on their saucers as he walked.

"Now I have to do this. The Librarian always gives me the dirty jobs. I hate it"

Marvin smiled for a moment and his cheeks turned a rosy color, "At least I get to see Sergeant Angua. All in all today will not end badly"

"Excuse me mister. Where is the children's section?" a tiny voice piped up from behind him.

Marvin's happy face turned ashen as he heard this. He turned around slowly to see a little girl wearing some sort of uniform. He guessed she was about ten years old. The girl stood there with big, innocent eyes staring at him.

"I want to find books on ponies and princesses, because we are doing a school project on them. Why are you dressed so funny?"

This happened from time to time. A library that stretched from the corner of one universe to the furthest reaches of several dimensions will sometime suck somebody into it. Marvin only ever saw this happen once, but the Librarian told him that it has happened on many previous occasions. The problem is that you don't always know about them until you accidentally stumble across their skeleton lying against a bookcase.

"Here now, where do you come from?" he asked.

"I live in New York. My daddy brought me today and he is waiting for in the Starbucks across the street" the little girl said.

Marvin looked at her strangely for a while. "Listen, go up this aisle, and go to the front desk. The Librarian is there and he will help you, okay? Just tell him everything you told me, and you will be alright", Marvin spoke to the books, "Help her find her way to the Librarian, and don't get her lost"

"Who are you talking to mister?"

"No one. Now, if you get lost, listen to the books, they will help you as well"

"You smell like glue and stale tea bags" the little girl said before she ran off.

Marvin heaved a sigh, "Little brat, not even a "thank you" for saving her life"

"Crap! I didn't tell her the Librarian was an ape! Oh well" Marvin realized a minute too late. Marvin followed the books to where Captain Carrot and Sergeant Angua were.

* * *

Sergeant Angua's eyes were glazed over. She stopped listening to Carrot over twenty minutes ago. All she was doing now was smiling, nodding her head and at appropriate times said "Fascinating". The thing was, she liked Carrot very much, but a girl can only take so much information about the dwarves before she became bored with it, especially information about dwarf bread.

Carrot was sitting amidst a pile of books, happily reciting facts from "Makors of Dwarv Bred".

"… and so King Drolgar Ironcoal forged the first Dwarven Flat Bread, and wielded it to the battle of Stony Toes where he defeated the troll hoard!"

"Fascinating"

"Oh! And listen to this…"

Sergeant Angua just smiled and nodded. She snapped out of her trance, as she smelled tea coming their way.

"Carrot, someone is coming"

Carrot looked up from his book and looked down the passage, "Probably the Librarian or Marvin. I admire them both for taking such good care of all these books"

Marvin appeared around the corner with the tea laden tray, "Good evening Captain" he said with a forced smile. His facial expression turned into that of a lovesick puppy as he greeted Angua, "H- He- Hello Sergeant, I thought you might like some tea… So I brought some"

Angua knew about poor Marvin, and humored him as much as she could.

"Thank you Marvin, you are such a sweet heart" she said while taking her cup. Marvin's legs turned to jelly.

"I- I'll just leave this here, and, um, go back. Just let me know when you are leaving"

"Good tea. Thank you Marvin. Do you have any books on the middle ages of Dwarven bread?" Carrot asked.

Marvin looked a little irked. Why couldn't it just be him and Angua? "Yes Captain, we have those. In fact, we have every book ever made"

Carrot looked puzzled, "How can you have every book ever made? The Library is too small"

"Oh Carrot" Angua said shaking her head. "Don't worry Marvin, I'll sort him out. Thank you again for the tea"

"Pl- Pleasure"

Marvin was happy again. Angua spoke to him. Nothing could go wrong now. But it did. Everything went horribly wrong. Marvin snapped his head back in the direction of the front of the Library. Something off the scales just happened up front, and the books were afraid. The rustling sounds of their chains were unnerving. Some of the younger books tried to fly away.

Angua's werewolf senses told her something was wrong, "Marvin, what is happening?"

"Oh my! Oh no! The Librarian!"

Carrot looked around him, "The Librarian? I don't see him"

"No! You don't understand. Something is in the Library, and it just attacked the Librarian. The girl! Oh no! She is going to see him! We have to save her!"

"Calm down Marvin!" Angua shouted, "What girl? What is happening?"

"No time to explain, make your way towards the front, I'll contact the Faculty as soon as possible and come back with help. Whatever it is, I ask you to stall it for as long as possible"

Angua sniffed the air. Fear was the most common among all the smells she picked up, but one smell came through clearly, very expensive deodorant. This deodorant that wasn't available in Ankh Morpork. In fact, no place on the Disk made this expensive deodorant.

Marvin ran off with great speed, holding his hat in one hand so that it couldn't fall off. He turned two corners, twisted the dimension to his will (You quickly learned the shortcuts in a magical library) and stood by the teleportation books.

* * *

The man stood inside the Library looking at the interior. "My my, as interesting as they said it would be"

"OOK OOK EEK!"

The man turned around to see an Orangutan jumping up and down on top of a large ornate desk. Its hair was standing on end, giving it the look of a large pincushion.

"OOOOOK!" it shrieked again.

The man scanned his immediate surroundings, and looked at the orangutan again, "Hmmm. They never said anything about the librarian having a pet monkey. Guess I'll just have to find the book on my own then"

The Librarian lungedwith all four arms extended. He realized soon after that it was a grave mistake.


End file.
